Lesson 140: I Would Rather Die a Thousand Deaths

Kentucky Chaplain David Chaltas --

The dream was not realized. He knew that the time had come. He saw the unavoidable and the inevitable. His time had come and he must prepare. It was his time of dread. And he would rather die a thousand deaths than meet his nemesis. The decision to relent and fight no more must have been one filled with the deepest despair. After four long years, his boys were still ready to lay down their lives for what they believed. His decision to withdraw from the field of honor was his and his alone to make. He sought guidance from the Almighty and then slowly bowed his head in submission to his fate. The dream was over. The Confederacy had failed and he alone must bear the burden of climbing that mountain of surrender after riding through the valley of decisions. He bore the burden with such pride and dignity that his enemies saluted him with awe recognizing that a giant walked among mortal men. (The Legend and Legacy of Lee; the Christian Essence of Character; Chaltas, David; MCI Publishing; 1st Edition; 2007)

In General Edward Porter Alexander’s memoirs, he reflects upon the conversation that he had with General Lee after receiving the above correspondences. General Potter suggests that the Commanding General order his boys to disperse and return to their native area and/or join General Johnston in North Carolina. In essence he was proposing guerilla warfare tactics to allow a regrouping of the troops. After listening to General Alexander’s tactical suggestions, General Lee made the following statement to end forever the idea that continued fighting could achieve a victory over such overwhelming odds.

“There are here only about 15,000 men with muskets. Suppose two thirds, say 10,000, get away. Divided among the states their numbers would be too insignificant to accomplish the least good. Yes! The surrender of this army is the end of the Confederacy. As for foreign help I’ve never believed we could gain our independence except by our own arms. If I ordered the men to go to Gen. Johnston few would go. Their homes have been overrun by the enemy and their families need them badly. We have now simply to look the fact in the face that the Confederacy has failed.

“And as Christian men, Gen. Alexander, you & I have no right to think for one moment of our personal feelings or affairs. We must consider only the effect which our action will have upon the country at large.

“Suppose I should take your suggestion & order the army to disperse & make their way to their homes. The men would have no rations & they would be under no discipline. They are already demoralized by four years of war. They would have to plunder & rob to procure subsistence. The country would be full of lawless bands in every part, & a state of society would ensue from which it would take the country years to recover. Then the enemy’s cavalry would pursue in the hopes of catching the principal officers, & wherever they went there would be fresh rapine & destruction.

“And as for myself, while you young men might afford to go to bushwhacking, the only proper & dignified course for me would be to surrender myself & take the consequences of my actions.

“But it is still early in the spring, & if the men can be quietly and quickly returned to their homes there is time to plant crops & begin to repair the ravages of the war. That is what I must now try to bring about. I expect to meet Gen. Grant at ten this morning in rear of the army & to surrender this army to him.” (Fighting for the Confederacy: The Personal Recollections of General Edward Porter Alexander; Alexander, Edward Porter; The University of North Carolina Press; Chapel Hill; 1989; pages 528-535) How he must have suffered. What anguish he must have felt. How hard he must have prayed.

This excerpt from a couple of books on Robert E. Lee reminded this poor fielder of another man. A greater man has never existed. My mind’s eye went back to over 2,000 years ago when our Saviour went to the garden of agony and prayed. He knew that His time had come. He knew that had to suffer. He prayed for the cup to be taken from Him. His sweat was as drops of blood. It was His time of dread.

Matthew 26: 36-46 offers the following passion of Christ. “36Then cometh Jesus with them unto a place called Gethsemane, and saith unto the disciples, Sit ye here, while I go and pray yonder. 37And he took with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, and began to be sorrowful and very heavy. 38Then saith he unto them, My soul is exceeding sorrowful, even unto death: tarry ye here, and watch with me. 39And he went a little farther, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt. 40And he cometh unto the disciples, and findeth them asleep, and saith unto Peter, What, could ye not watch with me one hour? 41Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak. 42He went away again the second time, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if this cup may not pass away from me, except I drink it, thy will be done. 43And he came and found them asleep again: for their eyes were heavy. 44And he left them, and went away again, and prayed the third time, saying the same words. 45Then cometh he to his disciples, and saith unto them, Sleep on now, and take your rest: behold, the hour is at hand, and the Son of man is betrayed into the hands of sinners. 46Rise, let us be going: behold, he is at hand that doth betray me.”

But He knew that His death offered life for all mankind. His was not at war for an idea but a war against sin, offering eternal hope and salvation. His was a gift of grace freely offered. He knew the price. He knew the cost and yet he would offer His life gladly, a thousand times if need be, to save the world that His Father so loved.

This we know: our general followed as closely as he could in the footsteps of our Lord. He believed in Christ being the one and only way of entering into God’s kingdom. The Christian essence of Lee’s character is well documented by thousands of letters. Yet his place in heaven is no greater than the thief that went with Jesus into His kingdom. Such is the love of God. Have you weighed the cost of salvation? Are you willing to sacrifice your life for another? Jesus offers you a gift. It is free for the taking. It was paid in blood and great suffering. But not once did He flinch from His duty. He clung to his old rugged cross, offering you a bridge into eternity.

What is your time of dread? What are you willing to do for those you love, your country and honor? What are you willing to pay for eternal life? The good news is that the price has already been paid. Simply ask for forgiveness with a repenting heart, believe that He can give you this gift, and accept the gift of salvation and watch, as all things become new. Won’t you embrace a new way of living and sing praises with the angels? His nail-scarred hands reach out as he softly calls you home. I am your humble servant in Christ, The Old General