Lesson 49: The Realization

Kentucky Chaplain David Chaltas

The realization came crashing down upon my spirit like a gigantic Tsunami. For this morning I received a phone call stating that my dear friend had passed through that turbid vale and now rests with her ancestors. You see she was my friend; my friend Mike's wife, and we all had grown up together. One thing was always consistent: Janie would always be there. She was so intelligent, possessing the voice of an angel and carrying herself in all things like a lady. The realization shattered the myth that tomorrow I could express my gratitude for all the meals that she cooked for me and all the times we sat around singing, playing music and laughing. The realization that her laugh would not always permeate the walls of her house had never entered the perimeters of my mind. I never fathomed the realization of not being able to just drop by their home, sit on the porch sharing childhood days, our days on the reservation, our days hanging around C. B. Caudill's store, and our days of dreams and delight. My realization that I had taken for granted a gift from God by not visiting those I love like I should due to my 'busy self-imposed' world of work came crashing down upon my being with such a force that I was unable to think of anything other than the loss.

I remember her positive nature and how she always saw the Christian in a sea full of sinners. I remember her love for life and genuineness of spirit. There were literally thousands of miles we traveled together as we ventured forth into the great unknown together. Was it not only yesterday that we strolled within the confines of Blue Canyon and gazed at the wonder of God's creations, or watched with amazement the sites of an Arizona sunset? This wondrous lady, with such a mastery of the English language,e gave me so many gifts of life that I shall always cherish. A saying comes to my mind as I reflect upon the realization. No the saying IS the realization! It simply states, and yet so powerfully declares, what I feel I have failed to do. "Treasure each other in the recognition that you will not always have one another."

Ms. Janie, I thank you for all you gave, not only to me but also to those that your life has touched. I now realize the significance of you in my life and know that I have been blessed with precious memories that will linger within my mind forever and a day. As your spirit passeth by, I shall mourn your loss beside my brother Mike and niece Nik, but rejoice with the knowledge that you rest in a new bed of roses and are walking with the angels. Knowing that I shall see her once again and that I too will someday wade into the water to reach the other shore, soothes the ache within my soul. The realization of blessed assurance reassures my doubt.

"But in the night of death hope sees a star, and listening love can hear the rustle of a wing." Ingeresoll

"Death is nothing else but going home to God, the bond of love will be unbroken for all eternity." Mother Teresa

"Death, in its silent, sure march is fast gathering those whom I have longest loved, so that when he shall knock at my door, I will more willingly follow." R. E. Lee

"It is God's love for us that sends us on our journey and it is our love for God that allows us to return to God's loving arms again." David Goines

A Tribute to Jane

The following is a letter of love from Mike for Janie and is a tribute of never ending love shining through the evening mist. The wrens pay tribute to a lady of legend.

"Sunday was our 38th wedding anniversary. I painted two small birds for Jane and sat them on the chest where she could see them. She smiled through the pain.

"This morning, I noticed that the wren out the back window that sings at daybreak too loudly for its little body was silent. As I made the coffee, the Kentucky mountain mist rose up Stillhouse Branch over by the store and the little house where we lived when we were first married. The sun came out and touched the tiptop of the mountain and then it quickly became cloudy. By late morning, the sky gradually cleared and the most beautiful Arizona blue that Janie so loved filled the day. Finally, as the shadows crept up from the North Fork and climbed the hill out the back window, and just as the last glimmer of light faded from the blue-green sky, Jane went so easily and so gently.

"Nikki and I were by her side, and her Aunt Charlie. We held her hands, talked about love, and gave her permission to go when she was ready. It really was without any suffering. We are so glad that it happened that way and so glad that the suffering has ended. There are no answers here and nothing to be learned, but maybe love always shines above it all and this gives us the chance to see it." Michael